


That Night

by Cloichi



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bittersweet Ending, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Cute Ending, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, Dubious Consent, Eventual Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, POV Third Person, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-War, Shameless Smut, Slight Period-Typical Homophobia, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2019-11-04 06:57:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17893691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloichi/pseuds/Cloichi
Summary: Every once in a while, Bucky will come home drunk after a night out. That night, though, was different.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I should preface this with the fact that English is not my first language, and so if you find any mistakes or weird sentences do point them out so that I can correct them. 
> 
> Here's a small prewar one shot that turned into a couple of chapters because I adore pre-serum Steve and drunken shenanigans and boys who can't keep their hands off each other, and they sort of took a mind of their own when I was writing...
> 
> Much love onto you <3

Really, it had made sense to move in together when they had. After Steve’s mom had died, staying in their old apartment wasn’t even an option. Even if he had wanted to keep that place, it felt both empty and filled with old memories, and he simply couldn’t afford the rent on his own. Especially since Steve had been ill quite often the winter before, and hadn’t been able to save quite as much money as he wished he’d had.

So yes, moving in with Bucky was the best option that he had. His parents would cover a small part of the rent, and with the odd jobs that they’d both been able to find up until then, they’d been able to make ends meet. Even had a little leftover for a 4th of July out to Coney Island for Steve’s birthday.

But what Steve hadn’t been expecting was how lonely living with his best friend could get. Well, that was partly his fault, though. Bucky went out quite a lot, with a new dame almost every time, but he always invited Steve along. Sometimes, he would go along with it, but things would always turn out the same way. Steve couldn’t dance, so he’d end up alone, nursing the one beer that he had been able to afford, while Bucky was busy twirling both their dates all over the dance floor like it was the most normal thing ever.

He would rarely even say goodbye to Steve before heading off with the bolder girl of the two (usually the one who had the most to drink). He would stumble into the apartment at some point during the night, smelling like booze and sweat, and collapse on his bed with a creak of the springs.

In the morning, Steve would make him a cup of watered down coffee, if they happen to have any. Most of the time, they’d have to make do with Postum, which was much easier to find although it didn’t taste much like coffee except for the bitterness. He’d listen to Bucky recount his exploits of the previous night when he was in the mood to tell them.

‘And then her brother came out of the house with a bat… He was wearing a nightshirt, and I swear to God, Steve, he was so red I think a vein popped in his brain or something. SO you can guess I didn’t get much more than that goodnight kiss as I had to, erm… Leave rather... precipitately.’, he said, emphasizing the word with a grin.

Steve shook his head, looking down at his cup with a small smile on his face. ‘One of these days, you’re just not going to be able to outrun a father or a brother...’

‘And then you’ll be the one patching me up for a change’, Bucky said, leaning back against the counter next to Steve, bumping his shoulder. ‘I’m sure you’d love it. You’d get to say “I told you so”, now wouldn’t you enjoy that ?’

‘How about no getting beaten up and no “I told you so”s ?’

‘Don’t make a promise you can’t keep there pal’, Bucky smiled, bumping Steve’s shoulder with a little more force.

  
  
  
*************************************  
  
  


Living with Bucky wasn’t always what he had expected, but it was home. And that night, just as many nights before this one, Steve sat by the window, sketching the shadow that the streetlights were catching on the buildings on the other side of the street.

He wasn’t expecting the door to swing open and slam loudly into the wall, Bucky stumbling in through the door frame. The sudden noise made him jump, and the charcoal piece in his hand made a large smudge on his drawing.

‘Buck! I wasn’t expecting you home so… Are you okay?’, Steve asked, his brow furrowing.

Bucky was obviously quite drunk, and was sporting a mark so red on the side of his face that Steve could only assume he’d have an enormous bruise come morning.

‘Yeah, ‘m fine, ya know… Just had a, um… Close encounter with a jackass’s fist.’, Bucky slurred slightly, grinning as he looked at Steve.

‘I bet you showed him what you’re made of, though.’ 

Steve closed his notebook, getting up from his seat by the window.

‘Sure did.’ Bucky took a few steps, regaining his balance by leaning on a dining chair before collapsing on their old, beaten down sofa. Their apartment wasn’t big, and he’d managed to practically bang into every item in the room from the door to the sofa. It had been a while since Steve had seen him this drunk, and it usually wasn’t a very good sign.  
  


Sighing, he sat next to his friend, reaching to assess the damage as the older boy was repressing a wince.

‘So, who’d you kiss to deserve this?’

‘Some guy’s fiancee, apparently. It was a damn good kiss though.’

‘I hope it was, because you’re going to feel it tomorrow.’ Steve pressed his fingers lightly on the side of his jaw, making Bucky turn his head to get a better look at the budding bruise that was starting to show on his right cheekbone. 

‘You have no idea. It was the kind of kiss that makes you feel all… all warm and tingly in the inside. Like the kind of kiss that they write about in these old stories, you know?’ 

Bucky winced again as he felt the press of Steve’s finger on his temple, prodding at the swelling.

‘You know I don’t’, he answered quietly. ‘The icebox is out of ice so you’ll have to suffer through this.’ 

  
  
There was silence for a moment, as Bucky turned his head back to look in his friend’s eyes. Steve was suddenly feeling quite dizzy, even though he was sitting down.

‘You mean… you’ve never?’

Even though his vision was slightly blurry from the alcohol, Bucky didn’t miss the slight blush that was rising on Steve’s cheeks.

‘I’d have told you, wouldn’t I.’

‘But what about that girl, what was her name ?’, Bucky paused for a moment. ‘Martha?’

‘Marjorie. I walked her home after you left with her friend, and she thanked me but that was it. I’m not… I’m not like you, going around and kissing girls like it’s no big deal.’ His voice faltered at the end of his sentence, and the blush on his face had been replaced by a look that Bucky couldn’t quite place, but knew that he wanted it gone.

‘But it isn’t a big deal, Stevie…’, he trailed. ‘You have to know how a kiss like that feels.’

‘Well, I don’t see anyone lining around the block to have that chance, do you?’

Bucky didn’t answer. He was feeling dizzier with every minute that passed, and he knew that meant he was probably not going to remember much of the night in the morning. He looked into Steve’s eyes, Steve’s slight, sad smile fading away along with his words. He hadn’t realized how close he’d gotten, but their legs were now touching, and Steve had leaned in to examine his bruised face. They were only a few inches apart.

‘Maybe… Maybe you should have someone to kinda… Practice with, and next time you’ll feel confident enough to kiss her.’ 

Bucky’s brain had short circuited. He couldn’t process any of his thoughts as he looked down at Steve’s lips to see his tongue darting slightly to lick at his bottom lip.

He didn’t wait for an answer, and leaned in until his mouth was on Steve. He’d underestimated the distance between them, and instead of the light kiss that he’d expected, his lips crashed onto Steve’s, making him gasp.

  
  
As the full extent of what he was doing crashed into Bucky’s mind, he began to panic slightly. What if Steve hated it? He’d pull back and he’d grin like it was a joke, and tell him how it wasn’t all that bad for a first kiss, or something similar, and maybe Steve would take it as a joke and not be mad at him. Or maybe he’d punch him… Bucky had closed his eyes so he couldn’t tell how furious Steve was going to be with him.

But he wasn’t pulling back… And Bucky could feel the shaky breath coming out of his nose as his lips pressed against his friend’s. His hand had until now been touching Bucky’s face, but was now resting against his neck, not pulling him closer, but not pushing him away either.

Before Bucky could realize it his own hands were tangled in Steve’s hair, and he was turning his head to the slide, deepening the kiss. He didn’t know if the moan was coming out of Steve’s lips of his own. Or maybe both, he really couldn’t tell, because all he could feel was Steve’s lips opening up for his tongue, letting him lick them, slowly, then tasting the inside of his mouth.

  
  
A minute could have passed, or maybe it was an hour, because Bucky felt as him time had stopped. Almost against his will, he pulled back to catch his breath, resting his forehead against Steve’s. His eyes were still closed, and all he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. He should really say something, but what? For the first time since he could remember, Bucky was at a loss for words.

But that didn’t matter much, because in an instant, Steve was closing the space between them again. And this time, it was the younger boy’s tongue that was prodding at his lips, searching for his own. This time, Bucky didn’t hesitate for a second before meeting him with his own, giving him what he’d been searching for.

From Steve’s hair, his hands dropped down, one going on his friend’s waist and the other on his thigh, squeezing lightly.

He needed to be closer to him, he needed to touch his skin…

Biting Steve’s lower lip slightly, he slipped his hand under his shirt. The skin on his hip was soft and so, so warm. He could feel the bone there if he squeezed, but he didn’t care.

His other hand was trailing up Steve’s thigh, until he was almost touching his crotch.

The moan that escaped Steve’s lips was the single greatest sound he’d ever heard.

  
  
Pulling back, Bucky opened his eyes to look at his friend with hooded eyes, his pupils blown so wide his eyes seemed almost black.

‘Shit, Stevie,’ he said, his voice hoarse. ‘Are you hard?’

He moved his hand just a couple of inches, pawing at Steve’s crotch through his pants.

Steve pulled back as though he’d been burned, looking like a wild animal caught by a hunter. Before Bucky could do or say anything, he got up and took a step back. Before ha could realize it, Bucky was also up and reaching for Steve, feeling the loss of his warmth, his lips on his. Steve looked panicked, tripping on the armrest as he tried move further away from his friend. Bucky could only watch as Steve fell ass first onto the hardwood floor, his head hitting the boards just a second later.

  
  
Everything went black for a second, a dull pain spreading from his tailbone to the back of his head, and when Steve opened his eyes again, Bucky was hovering over him, his hands on either sides of his head.

‘You okay?’ he slurred, but his eyes were darting back to Steve’s pants before he could even answer.

‘Gerroff me’, Steve croaked. He pushed at his friend’s shoulders, but he wouldn’t budge.

‘Let me see.’

‘I said get off!’

Bucky could hear the panicked tremor in Steve’s voice, but his hand was already back on Steve’s hip. The smaller boy began thrashing under him, bucking in a desperate attempt to push him away.

‘Stop’, he gasped, but Bucky ignored his words, pushing his hips down against Steve’s to stop him from moving. Steve’s renewed attempt to push Bucky’s hips away only resulted in his erection pushing directly into the older boy’s thigh, and he couldn’t stop the moan that escaped his lips. He stilled, and Bucky could feel the definite, hard shape of his cock against his hip.

‘Fuck…’ Bucky whispered. ‘Did that make you hard? Kissing me... ‘ 

Steve turned his head to the side, his cheeks, ears and all the way down his neck were the deepest shade of pink. Bucky couldn’t help but wonder it the skin under his shirt was also that pretty color. He wanted to see…

‘Bucky…’ Steve’s voice was barely a whisper, and Bucky couldn’t tell if it was a plea for him to stop or to keep going. He ground his hips hard into the boy under him, lining up his own hard cock with his friend’s, dropping his head to mouth at the soft skin of Steve’s neck. He could feel the beat of his pulse, racing under his tongue. 

‘I did that.. Fuck, Steve, I did that to you’, he drawled, like he couldn’t believe it.

  
  
Steve had gone completely silent, his hands gripping tightly at Bucky’s arms, bunching up his shirt. Bucky bit down on his pulse point, right where his neck met his shoulder, as he ground his hips down, harder, causing a sound midway between a sob and a moan to escape from Steve’s lips.

Before he had time to register, Steve’s hands were on both sides of his head, grabbing him and pulling him up to meet his lips once more, and his hips were lifting off the ground to meet his in an irregular rhythm.

‘Shit… Stevie…’ Bucky moaned. ‘Fuck… You feel so good, holy…’

Bucky’s hands were gripping the younger’s boys thighs tightly, trying to make the rhythm of his hips fit his own, alternating between kissing him and contemplating that look that he’d never expected to see in Steve’s eyes, like he couldn’t decide which one he liked most.

‘Steve… Stevie… You’re so... ‘, he moaned, ‘So good for me, shit…’

‘Bucky, I’m… I’m gonna…’

‘Shit, let me see… I wanna see you… Fuck’, Bucky said, pulling himself up onto his knees as Steve was bucking desperately underneath him. Fumbling to open Steve’s pants, he pressed his hand against the hard line of his cock, his own cock twitching at the moan that escaped Steve’s lips, coming deep from his throat. 

Bucky was so hard, and the sight of the boy below him was not helping his current situation. Steve’s lips were parted, wet and red from kissing him. His chest was heaving, his shirt riding up to expose the lower part of his stomach, his skin smooth and milky white. His eyes were hooded, his long eyelashes casting a shadow on his cheeks.

Finally managing to get Steve’s pants open, Bucky tried desperately to get them down, only for them to catch on Steve’s bottom. But the motion had still revealed the hard line of Steve’s cock against his white underwear. The flushed head of his cock was poking out of the top, and a wet drop had pooled on the soft-looking skin of his stomach.

The sight made Bucky’s balls draw tight, and he felt like he could blow his load just from the high-pitched whine coming from Steve’s mouth, his hips still stuttering, searching for friction.

‘Shit… Stevie -- I wanna… I wanna suck you’, Bucky moaned, grabbing at his friend’s underwear in a clumsy, desperate attempt to free his cock, see more of it, take it in his hand, now now now…

Without a warning or even a sound, he watched as Steve came on his stomach, his cock pulsing as the waves of his orgasm were hitting him one after the other. Bucky’s eyes were wide as he took in the scene, darting from his face to the mess accumulating on his belly, full of something that felt like disbelief and excitement.

As the force of his orgasm started to recede, a blissed out bonelessness taking its place, Steve watched in turn as Bucky took his own, hard cock out of his pants. Letting out a flow of ‘fuck Stevie, so good for me, so pretty so fucking beautiful’, Bucky started stroking himself hard and fast. Steve watched through a haze as Bucky thumbed over the shiny head of his cock, moaning about how he wanted to take him into his mouth. 

  
  
After what could only have been less than a minute, Bucky’s hand suddenly stilled and he felt drops of warm, sticky slick hit the exposed sin of his stomach, his rumpled shirt. One even landed all the way up on his collarbone, and Steve thoughtlessly wiped it with his index finger, popping it in his mouth and licking it clean. Above him, his hand still on his cock, Buck was staring at his lips with the most predatory look he’d ever seen on anyone’s face, ever.

‘Fuck, Stevie..’, he slurred, leaning back over to capture Steve’s lips into a sloppy, open mouthed kiss. 

  
  
For a while, they didn’t move, Bucky lying down on top of Steve, kissing him lazily as their come was drying between them.

‘Buck… You’re heavy,’ Steve said after a while. The coldness of the air of the appartement hit his damp skin as Bucky rolled away, and he couldn’t stop the shiver that shook his small frame. 

They both just laid there for a while, staring at the ceiling without saying a word. It could have lasted a minute as much as an hour, Steve really couldn’t tell. Finally, he gathered enough of his thoughts and his courage to get up, grabbing a cloth by the kitchen sink, running it through the cold water and wiping the mess on his stomach. He tried to get the stains on his shirt, but they would need a good soaking if he ever wanted to get them out.

On the other side of the room, Bucky stirred, then rolled clumsily on his stomach to try and get on his feet.

‘Ugh,’ he moaned as he stumbled to the table. Steve turned his attention to him as the older boy struggled to pull back his pants over his now soft cock. What had he done? What did it mean for him and Bucky that he’d let him... Like that… 

Steve pushed the thought away from his mind as Bucky looked over to him, his lips spreading into a dopey grin. The bruise was starting to show on his face, turning from deep red to a purplish hue. He offered the kitchen rag to Bucky, who used it to wipe his hands. Steve felt blood rushing to his cheeks as he took in his dishevelled appearance… He looked just like he did when he came home after a night out with a dame, shirt all creased and mussed-up hair that only made him more attractive.

‘Let’s get you to bed’, he said, grabbing his friend by the arm and leading him into the bedroom, where he collapsed face first onto his bed. Within the minute or so that it took Steve to remove his shoes, Bucky was already snoring.

After gathering his drawing supplies that were scattered into the living room, Steve dropped his dirty shirt and pants into the laundry basket, pulling on his pajamas. That night, it took him a couple of hours to fall asleep, listening to the quiet rhythm of Bucky’s breath on the other side of the room. Really, living with Bucky was definitely not what he’d been expecting.

  
  
  
***********************  
  
  


The next morning was a Sunday. Steve and Bucky had stopped going to church for a while now, usually spending the day cleaning the apartment and hanging around, listening to the radio for Bucky, reading and drawing for Steve. 

As the sun rose over the Brooklyn skyline that morning, Steve woke up to the sound of Bucky slamming the door of their bedroom open, his steps loud as he rushed to the bathroom and retched up all the contents of his stomach. 

Steve could only hope that he’d managed to aim for the toilet rather than the floor. 

After a minute, getting his eyes adjusted to the sunlight that was streaming through the window, he got up. Bucky was on his knees, heaving over the toilet. He must have taken his shirt off during the night because he was now shirtless, his back shining slightly with sweat.

‘You ok there, Buck?’, he said.

Bucky answered with a groan, dropping his forehead on the toilet seat.

‘One hell of a night, uh?’

‘Y’can say that, ‘guess… Don’t even remember how I got home.’

Steve’s stomach dropped. Bucky was drunk when he came home, but he didn’t seem _that drunk_ when they’d… Did he… Did he not remember?

‘Some guy socked you in the eye.’ He couldn’t believe that last night was all… If Bucky couldn’t remember it, he might as well have imagined the whole thing. He felt cold, suddenly, like someone had dropped a bucket of ice on him.

‘Yeah, ‘Can feel that, shit. You should’ve come with me, Stevie, you always know how to keep me out of trouble.’

‘Yeah, you sure about that? Remember that time Billy B and his gang chased us for blocks because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut?’ Steve answered, but it felt mechanical. He looked at Bucky with a smile, but he could already feel the tears starting to build up.

‘Yeah, ‘guess you’re right…’, Bucky smiled slightly before turning back to the toilet.

Steve turned, wiping his tears on the sleeve of his pajamas as he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He brought it to Bucky, who gulped it down without a word.

Steve moved on to the kitchen, starting to prepare breakfast. He knew it was best to stay active and not let the sadness wash over him. 

Maybe it was better. Maybe Bucky didn’t mean to do that at all with him, and if he’d remembered he’d be disgusted. It was better for him to keep that memory and then move on forever. 

Bucky had girls, he’d spend other crazy nights out until he’d finally meet the one, settle down, get married and have a couple of beautiful kids. And Steve, well… Steve had Bucky, and he would continue to have Bucky for as long as life would allow him to, in any way he was allowed. And if it was only this then… He would be happy he got to have this at all. To have Bucky even from far away was better than to not have Bucky at all. And if they could only have that night, then that night was all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I wasn't planning on the ending being such of a downer but it sort of took me by surprise... I'm planning a second part though so stay tuned ;)


	2. Chapter 2

For the first few days after what Steve referred to in his head as ‘that night’, he’d been surly, getting mad at everyone for the littlest things. Bucky had even apologized for getting home drunk and making a mess, waking him up in the middle of the night that night. 

‘It doesn’t really matter now, does it?’, Steve had snapped at him. He’d felt bad right after. It wasn’t Bucky’s fault, not really. It was the alcohol that had caused him to act in the exact way that Steve had always wanted him to without ever admitting it to himself. And it was the alcohol that had caused him to forget, while Steve had to live with the memory, and the fact that he would never know if Bucky had actually wanted what had happened. But talking to him about it was too risky… What if he was disgusted by Steve? What if he felt it was so wrong that he decided to move out? Steve just couldn’t risk it.

After a while, the hurt had dulled, and all he’d been left with was mostly guilt. 

For Bucky, life had gone on _comme d’habitude_. For a couple of weeks now he’d been working in a warehouse by the docks, which paid more than his previous job even though the labor was also harder. Both he and Steve had been happy with the extra money that allowed them to buy a nice cut of meat every once in a while, and of course allowed Bucky to go out once or twice a week dancing and drinking with his flurry of dames.

After that night, though, he’d slowed down for a while. Steve didn’t know if it was some form or unconscious shame after what had happened that night, or if he just didn’t want to be seen out with a shiner. The bruise he’d gotten that night had remained on his face for well over a week, turning from purple to blue, then green, and finally yellow before fading completely.

Steve kept telling himself that once it would disappear from Bucky’s face, it’d be the last reminder of that night that would vanish. And then he could move on, finally.

  
  
***********************  
  


‘Got us a couple hot dates for tonight, Stevie! Jack and his crew are playing at the Three Diamonds, it’s gonna be a riot.’ 

Steve raised his head from the book that he has been reading, incredulous.

‘Uh?’, he let out, not having registered what Bucky had said.

‘You. Me. Tonight. At the Three Diamonds. With a couple of dames.’

Before Bucky had let out the final part of his sentence, Steve had felt a bubble of hope that started building up in his chest for a second. But of course, Bucky meant they were going out with girls, not just the two of them. Why would they? They already spent most of their days and evenings together at home…

‘I don’t know, Buck, you know how it always ends up’, he replied cautiously.

‘You’re gonna love Lucille, I swear. She’s Jo’s friend, ya know, Jo from the diner? She finally agreed to go out with me, and she has this friend who’s perfect for you’, Bucky beamed at Steve, perching himself on the armrest of the chair where Steve was sitting.

Steve closed his book, taking care to dog ear the page where he’d stopped. As much as he wanted to, he knew it would be a bad idea to take a glance at Bucky now. He’d be looking down with his puppy dog eyes, and Steve wasn’t sure he would even be able to put up a front of resistance before agreeing to his friend’s plans.

‘That’s what you said about the last one. And she took one look at me and then spent the whole night hangin’ on your arm…’

‘That’s not true! I mean, you can’t start talking about socialism barely a minute after you’ve met a dame, Stevie, of course they get scared and run to the nearest, handsomest man they can find…’

Steve could hear the grin in Bucky’s voice without looking at him, and couldn’t help the smile that spread on his own lips as he shook his head.

‘Yeah, sure, you’re the handsomest man in this room alright.’

‘Aww, Stevie, you really think I’m handsome?’

Steve snorted, elbowing Bucky in the ribs until he pretended to fall from the armrest. Sitting on the floor, he rested his chin on the armrest, and now Steve was unable to avoid returning his gaze. Jesus Christ, this boy would be the end of him.

‘Pretty please? If you don’t have a good time I swear I’ll make it up to ya… I’ll let you take me to one of these borin’ meetings about labor and shit that you love. I won’t even complain! Pleaaaaase’, he whined, batting his eyelashes up at Steve.

‘Jeez, Buck, alright. If it means that much to you…’

‘Hurray!’ Bucky exclaimed, jumping to his feet and rushing to their bedroom. ‘Now let’s get ready ‘cause I told ‘em we’d be there in 30.’

  
  
***********************  
  


Meeting up with the girls, Steve could feel his heart in his throat. He’d been through this with Bucky over a dozen times, but it never got any easier, and it never ended any better either. Really, if he could spend a somewhat pleasant evening without his date being rude to him or slapping him in the face for insinuating that it was stupid to care more about cosmetics that about how children fared in our own country (which it was, god dammit), then he’d consider himself happy.

What he hadn’t been expecting was to actually like Jo and his friend Lucille. Both girls were funny, Lucille in a dry and witty sort of way that really spoke to him. And she hadn’t given him _“the look”_ when they’d arrived. He knew _“the look”_ very well. It was this disappointed expression that dames had on their faces as they took him in from head to toe and realized he was nothing like Bucky. She’d been warm and friendly, kissing him and Bucky on the cheek as they met the girls in front of the venue.

‘I hear Jack and his band are playin’ tonight, do you know them?’ He’d asked once they had settled into a booth, scrambling to find a topic of conversation that they wouldn’t find controversial.

‘Yes, he’s a right prick that one’, Lucille had exclaimed, which had caused Bucky to choke on the beer that he’d been drinking. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed this hard on a date.

And when it had turned out that Lucille wasn’t really one for dancing, they had let Bucky and his date go and do the lindy hop on the dancefloor as the debated heatedly the current state of the war in Europe. Lucille didn’t agree with everything he said, and she in turn had some good arguments that he’d never really thought about. All in all, they were both pig-headed but appreciated the debate. Usually, girls were not interested when Steve started to talk politics. Bucky wasn’t either, most times he would let Steve go on what he called ‘one of his tirades’, nodding along and going ‘hmm hmmm’ whenever Steve looked at him for approval. He didn’t care about the way that the United States was handling the war, or what it meant for coloured people in and out of the army, or any of the thousands of issues that Steve took to heart these days...

Lucille, on the other hand, did care. She cared fiercely, and was giving Steve’s tirades a good run for their money, talking for almost 15 minutes about how the war would create a lasting change for women, that they wouldn’t be able to force them back into the old mold once they had had a taste of what it was like to be a part of the workforce. Steve listened attentively, a small smile on his face, watching how her eyes gleamed when she talked about her hero, the reporter Nellie Bly, and how she truly invented a new type of journalism. She hoped to follow in her footsteps, someday. Steve was fascinated by her spirit, and how beautiful she was when she talked with passion.

  
  


Steve didn’t even hear Bucky come close, and he jumped a little when the older boy dropped by his side on the booth, looking a little dishevelled and sweaty. 

‘How’s it going, Steviiie?’, He drawled a little. How many drinks had he had? Steve had seen Bucky drink at least two pints of beer and follow that with a whisky as he was still nursing his first pint, but he must have had a least a couple other drinks since then. 

‘It’s going fine, Buck. How ‘bout you? Tired already?’

‘Yeah, she’s a true jitterbug, that one… Had to take a breather ‘cause she wouldn’t stop’, he said, scooching closer to Steve, their thighs touching. He leaned over to grab Steve’s half-drunk beer, finishing it in a couple a gulps before the blond had even any time to react.

‘Hey!’ He blurted, trying to look a little more annoyed than he really was. They shared pretty much everything anyway…

‘’m so thirsty, Stevie, ya gonna lemme die?’ He slurred slightly, poking Steve’s ribs with his index.

Steve could see Lucille rolling her eyes on the other side of the table, but she was also smiling, so Bucky’s drunken charm was still just as effective as ever. After all these years of being exposed to Bucky on a daily basis, Steve still wasn’t immune to it. He’d started to believe that he never would be, although he was pretty confident that he could pretend that he was unaffected well enough by now.

‘How ‘bout ya, doll, still don’t wanna dance? Don’t wanna take my Stevie for a spin?’ Bucky blurted out after a few minutes.

‘I’m not much of a dancer’, she answered.

‘Com’on, how ‘bout I teach ya then’, he insisted, getting back up and going around the table to grab her hand. ‘I’m a real good teacher, ain’t I Stevie?’

‘Thank you, Bucky, but I’m good, I’d rather just stay here.’

‘Yeah? Ya gonna talk with Stevie sommore ‘bout all that garbage rather than cut a rug?’ He was sounding drunker by the minute, not letting go of Lucille’s hand, and Steve could see that he was starting to make her really uncomfortable.

‘Come, Buck’, Steve interjected, ‘She doesn’t want to go dancing.’

‘Yeah well it’s a fuckin’ dancehall, shoulda gone to a goddamn library or somethin’!’

Bucky still hadn’t let go of Lucille’s hand, and she was starting to look really annoyed at him. Steve got up, grabbing Bucky’s arm.

‘Let go, Bucky, you’re making a scene.’

v‘Oh yeah?’ Bucky exclaimed, finally dropping Lucille’s hand. ‘’S not my fault ya date is such a fuckin’ bore.’

‘Bucky!’ Steve couldn’t believe how boorish Bucky was acting. He’d never been an angry drunk, usually he was all charm and smiles, what had gotten into him?

‘Yeah, she’s just missin’ the glasses but she’d make a damn good librarian, wouldn’t she, with the mousy hair ‘n all…’

‘Bucky! You’re going too far!’ Steve slammed the heels of his hands on Bucky’s chest, not even making him budge, much to his embarrassment.

Bucky grabbed both of his wrists, easily preventing the younger boy from moving his arms at all.

Steve could feel his face turning red from the shame and the anger.

‘Stevie, common, I just wanna go dancin’, tonight was supposed to be fun…’

‘And you think bein’ rude to my date is fun, do ya?’, he shouted, causing the people around them to look at the scene.

Steve turned his head towards Lucille, but she was gone. Extracting himself from Bucky’s grip, Steve scanned the dancehall, catching the silhouette of Lucille and her friend exiting through the main door.

He rushed outside, trying to catch them, he had to apologize, this wasn’t him, this wasn’t Bucky, he wasn’t usually like this… But by the time he’d pushed through the dancers to reach the doors, there was no sign of them on the street.

Steve cursed under his breath. For once, he’d actually enjoyed himself on a night out, he’d actually connected with a date, and had had some of the most interesting conversations… But Bucky just… He had to be at the center of everything, and ruin the one fucking night out that he’d actually been enjoying...

  
  
***********************  
  


Steve was walking a couple of paces ahead of Bucky, fuming, not even bothering to look where he was going. He could hear Bucky’s steps behind him as he struggled to catch up, calling his name.

‘Stevie! Steve, hold on…’

Catching up to him, Bucky grabbed his friend’s shoulder, trying to get him to turn around, but Steve resisted, shrugging his grip off.

‘Come on, Steviie, what got ya panties in a twist?’

Steve could feel his hands balling up into fists, and for a second he imagined what it would feel like to actually hit Bucky. Maybe he couldn’t tell him how much it hurt to be around him every day, blissfully ignorant as he was of Steve’s true feelings. But his fist against his jaw might be a way to get payback, even for just a second…

Bucky had fully caught up to him, taking big steps by his side to match his brisk pace. In his precipitation to leave, he hadn’t put on his coat and scarf, but the cold February air didn’t seem to affect him. 

Steve looked down. Damn him, and his good looks, and his selfishness, and how he always needed to be the fucking center of attention. And how Steve just couldn’t seem to ever stay mad at him, even at times like this.

‘Com’on, talk to me, Stevie’, he said, dropping his head so that he could force Steve’s eyes to meet his own.

Steve gritted his teeth as they arrived at the front door of their apartment building. He unlocked the door without a word, and started walking up the stairs two at a time as Bucky was still pestering him to explain himself, like he didn’t know what he’d done.

  
  


As Steve went to unlock their apartment door, Bucky slammed his hand on the door, forcing it shut even as Steve was trying to pull it.

‘Stop it.’ 

‘You stop it!’ Bucky exclaimed. His voice was much too loud for the empty hall, and if he didn’t pipe down the neighbours would come looking in a few minutes.

‘M not doing anything.’ Steve answered through gritted teeth.

‘Like hell you ain’t’, Bucky drawled as grabbed Steve’s shoulder, forcing him to spin around and face him. ‘Is it because of that girl? She wasn’t good enough for ya, Stevie.’

‘Who the fuck are you to judge that?’ Steve’s voice was much louder than he had intended, echoing slightly in the empty hall.

‘m the only one who can, Stevie. ‘Cause I see ya, and the others, they don’t, they don’t see you, not like I do.’ Bucky said, looking straight into the blue of Steve’s eyes, his brows furrowed, just like when he was concentrating really hard on a crossword puzzle.

‘The hell does that mean?’ Steve objected, his voice cracking slightly.

‘You’re perfect. You’re smart, you’re so talented, and you have a mouth on ya that’d make my ma wanna wash it with soap.’ Bucky breathed, a small smile ghosting over his lips.

Both of Bucky’s hands were firmly planted on either side of his head, trapping him with his back against the door.

‘And you’re so passionate, ‘could listen to ya talk for hours…’ He paused, his eyes dropping to Steve’s lips, just for an instant, leaving Steve to wonder if he’d imagined it. ‘You’re so… So fuckin’ beautiful, Stevie, you’re fuckin’ perfect, and they just can’t see that…’

Steve could feel the heat that was rising from his chest and into his cheeks. He must look fucking stupid, he thought, frozen in place and red in the face from the brisk walk home and from Bucky’s words.

The older boy’s face was only a couple of inches away from his, and he could feel the warmth of his breath on his lips, smelling faintly of whisky.

‘Say something’, Bucky implored. ‘Tell me to stop…’

Steve had stopped breathing altogether. What was he supposed to do?

‘Please…’ Bucky murmured, his lips hovering against Steve’s. ‘Just say it…’

And just like that, Bucky was kissing him, his lips so warm and soft against his own, pushing him into the door. Steve barely registered as Bucky’s coat dropped to the ground, as the other boy was tugging sightly on his lower lip with his teeth, unable to prevent a gasp from escaping as he did.

Steve could feel Bucky’s whole body pushing against his own, from his chest to his thighs, warm all over and so fucking solid. Pushing so hard, like he wanted to get even closer even though they were flush against each other, and Steve suddenly felt like the thin clothing between them was separating them by a mile, he wanted it gone, he wanted… 

‘Fuck’, he thought, as he heard movement in Mrs Callenworth’s apartment on the other side of the hall. Old bat was about to come out and see them like him, see Bucky pressing him up against the door… She’d call the police, and they’d be in fucking trouble if that happened. Two men, like that…

Gathering all the willpower that he had left, he pushed Bucky away, despite the older boy resisting.

‘Bucky, stop, stop’, he whispered, feeling the loss of Bucky’s warmth were he’d been pressed up against him.

It took Bucky a second to realize that Steve was telling him to stop, and a look of panic began to spread across his face.

‘Inside, now.’ Steve ordered him, picking up Bucky’s discarded coat on the floor and turning to push the key into the lock. The older boy followed him inside, not uttering a word as Steve closed the door, locking it behind him, and looked in the peephole just in time to see their nosy neighbour open her front door in her nightclothes, looking around the hall for anyone to yell at. Steve let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

  
  


When he turned back to Bucky after a minute or so, he felt a sudden surge of panic. He had his back against the kitchen wall, seemingly the only thing that was holding him up as he was quietly sobbing into his hands.

‘Shit’, Steve groaned, dropping Bucky’s coat and shrugging off his own onto the floor. He took the few steps that separated him from Bucky.

‘Buck, hey…’, he whispered gently. ‘You okay?’

He reached up to grab Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky regretted what had just happened, of course he did. He’d never truly wanted to kiss Steve. Was he drunk enough that he’d forget, like last time? God dammit, this had been the worst fucking idea he’d ever had, letting himself be kissed like that, when Bucky would probably have kissed anyone that was standing in front of him. Steve hoped he hadn’t done something that would irreversibly change their friendship…

‘M sorry, Stevie, ‘m so sorry’, Bucky sobbed, wiping a couple of tears that had rolled down is cheeks. ‘I knew you didn’t want it, but, shit… I can’t stop thinking about it…’

‘It’s okay, just, just take a breath, Buck...’

‘It’s my fault, ’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… You’re so… so… Couldn’t help it, Stevie, ‘m sorry‘

He wasn’t making any sense. Maybe he _was_ that drunk, drunk enough to black out and forget about all of this, Steve hoped. He could still feel the warmth of Bucky’s lips against his own, like a ghostly sensation…

‘Last time, you said no, ’didn’t listen… ’m so fuckin’ selfish... Just wanted to feel you, just once…’

Bucky was looking down at his feet, deliberately not looking at him in the eyes as he went on.

‘But once, it wasn’t enough, and ’m not sure I can stop... I’ve been thinkin’ about it so much, fuck, hoped it would be enough, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t…’, he sobbed one more time as Steve wiped the tear that had just rolled on his cheek with his thumb, Bucky’s skin so warm under his fingers, so inviting…

Did he mean? Had he misunderstood? Steve held his breath as he reached to kiss Bucky’s cheek lightly, standing on the tip of his toes. He pressed the lightest of kisses to his cheekbone, the salty taste of his tears on his lips, then kissed his closed eyelid as another sob escaped Bucky’s lips. 

He wasn’t pushing him away, Steve noted with a sudden burst of hope lighting up inside his chest.

For what seemed like forever, he pressed his lips to Bucky’s face, caressing his cheeks as he kissed his nose, his jaw, the corner of his mouth, until his friend’s breathing had slowed down. Then, finally, slowly, gathering all the courage that he had, Steve pressed his lips to Bucky’s, slightly, like a question.

The answer left Bucky’s lips in the form of a whimper, low and desperate as he grabbed Steve’s by the back of his neck, pulling him closer until their lips were crushed against each other in an almost painful way. 

This time, Steve didn’t hesitate for a second before his tongue darted out, licking at Bucky’s lower lip, the older boy answering almost immediate by opening up, allowing him to taste his mouth. He felt so warm, so good as their tongues brushed against each other, discovering each other.

After a couple of minutes, Steve had learned that it made Bucky moan each time he’d bite on the older boy’s lower lip, and that he fucking loved it when his friend pulled his hair, sending shivers down his spine and straight to his cock. He’d been fully hard in a matter of minutes, just from the feeling of Bucky’s lips and his hands roaming against his shoulders, his back, his chest, like he couldn’t decide which part of him he wanted to touch.

Bucky pulled back, panting slightly as he rested his head against the wall behind him.

‘You… You want this, right?’

‘Fuck, Bucky’, Steve groaned. ‘What more do ya want from me? Yeah, I fuckin’ want this’

‘But, for real? When I wake up tomorrow, this won’t be another dream?’

‘For real’, Steve murmured, nosing at Bucky’s jaw. 

Feeling more bold than he’d ever felt in his life, he took Bucky’s hand and, before he could take a second to think about what he was doing, pulled it to his groin, letting him feel the hard line of his cock against his trousers. 

‘D’you think this is a dream?’

If Bucky’s ma had heard the flow of swears that came out of her son’s mouth at that instant, he’d have been in for a stern talking to...

Steve couldn’t hold a giggle at the thought, both of his hands combing through Bucky’s hair as he started to chuckle. He could feel Bucky’s breath on his neck as he snorted a little, the air tickling his skin in the most delightful way. Within a couple of seconds, they were both laughing hard, holding each other as they silently shaked with laughter. Bucky pressed quick, loving kisses to Steve’s smiling mouth, drunk from both the alcohol and the feeling of _actually kissing Steve, goddammit_.

His hand was palming Steve’s hard length through his trousers, a little hesitant at the thought of what was going to happen. This was big, but fuck, he’d wanted this for so long…

Taking his hand off of Steve’s crotch, the loss of which elicited a whine from the younger boy, he grabbed both of Steve’s thighs, pulling him up until his hips were pressed flush against his own. Instinctively, Steve wrapped his legs around Bucky, pulling him even closer. The moan that escaped Bucky’s lips was like a symphony to his ears, and he repeated the motion, rutting his hips up into his friend’s to see what other sounds he could coax out of Bucky that way.

‘Fuuuck…’, he let out as Steve was taking a page out of his book and biting his neck. ‘When did you...How did you… Get so, fuck, Stevie, slow down, you’re going to make me blow my load right now’

‘M close too’, Steve muttered into his neck. ‘C’mon, just…’ He pressed his hips hard onto Bucky’s, panting as he did so.

‘Nah, Stevie, wait, hold on’, Bucky pleaded, dropping Steve back onto the ground. The younger boy was trying his best to climb his way back up Bucky, but not to much success, to his despair.

Grabbing both his shoulders, Bucky pushed Steve back, flipping their position so that he was the one with his back to the wall.

‘You’re a bossy little shit, even now, uh?’, he asked with a smile, towering over him with his arm against the wall by Steve’s head.

Steve didn’t answer, as he was now concentrating on taking Bucky’s belt off, but was struggling with the buckle.

‘Jeez, Stevie...’

‘You talk too much’, Steve answered as he was finally pulling Bucky’s belt from the loops of his pants. ‘You should do somethin’ else with your mouth’, he said, before stopping quite suddenly in his tracks, as a deep flush started to spread across his cheeks.

Bucky took in his sheepish expression with a grin. ‘Yeah, like what?’, he asked.

‘Uhh…’, Steve hesitated, his fingers tugging at the loops of Bucky’s pants.

Not waiting for an answer, Bucky leaned down and bit on his earlobe, before murmuring in his ear: ‘Want me to suck you?’

Steve’s confident attitude from a moment ago seemed completely gone as Bucky felt him nod his head quietly, not even letting out a breath. 

‘Tell me what you want’, he murmured.

‘F-Fuck, Buck, I…’, he hesitated. The flush was slowly spreading from his cheeks to his neck, disappearing into the collar of his shirt. Bucky thought back to that night, how much he’d wanted to chase that flush down Steve’s check with his lips, how much he still wanted to now...

For all his bravado a couple of minutes ago, this was still Steve’s first time. Last time, it’d been his first kiss… Now he was in front of Bucky, ready to give himself, just for him…

The thought alone was enough to make Bucky feel unbearably warm, like his blood was turning to lava.

‘Tell me’, he murmured into his ear, his warm breath caressing Steve’s skin and sending shivers down his spine.

‘I want you, Buck’, he answered. His hands had stilled, not trying to get Bucky’s pants off anymore but holding his hips, his fingers grazing the skin beneath his untucked shirt, so warm.

Slowly, Bucky unbuttoned Steve’s shirt, uncovering first his collarbones, revelling in their deep pink color. He kissed a trail from his jaw to there, feeling Steve’s shallow breaths as he did so. As he’d envisioned, the flushed spread down on Steve’s chest, turning his milky skin into the most inviting color. 

Bucky sucked in a breath, gathering his courage as he kept kissing downwards, until he’d reached Steve’s navel, and he was on his knees.

He glanced upwards, and Steve was looking at him with an air that was not far from panic, but his eyes were also dark, inviting him to push forward. He could see the line of Steve’s hard cock through his pants, and though this was uncharted territory for both of them, he’d never wanted anything more in his life than this, at this moment.

He unbuttoned Steve’s pants and pulled them down to his knees, followed by his underwear not a second later. He couldn’t hold the moan that escaped his lips as the boy’s cock springed up, curving upwards toward his stomach, the head a purplish shade against his pale skin. He could feel Steve’s breaths quickening with expectation as he reached to wrap his hand around his length, squeezing the base of it.

Steve whined, a sound that came from so deep inside of him that Bucky could swear he physically felt it, a wave of arousal washing over him and settling in his groin, where his own cock was already painfully hard, trapped in his pants.

Slowly, he started to move his hand along the length of Steve’s cock. His mind had short-circuited, and he couldn’t think about anything else other that the sweet sounds coming from Steve’s mouth and the feeling of holding his friend’s hard cock in his hand. 

Within a minute, he’d learned that it made Steve’s legs tremble when he swiped his thumb under the head of his cock as he reached the tip. In what he felt was an act of bravado, he took the head of Steve’s cock into his mouth. A broken, rough moan escaped Steve’s lips as Bucky started sucking in his cheeks. Slowly, still holding the base of his cock with his hand, he started bobbing his head, taking in more and more with each movement. 

The sounds that came out of Steve didn’t stop, encouraging him to push further. He gagged as Steve’s hips bucked, pushing his cock against the back of his throat. He pulled back, coughing a little, and looked up at Steve for the first time since he’d started sucking him.

The younger boy’s head was leaning up against the wall, his eyes closed as he was biting hard on his fist, his knuckles going white. He was visibly trying to control himself. 

This was Bucky’s doing. He’d done that to Steve, pushed him to the brink of losing control… 

Fuck, Bucky thought, if this wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever laid his eyes on.

He took Steve back into his mouth, guiding his hips with his hand so that the younger boy started fucking his mouth. He wanted him to let go completely, and he could take it if it meant his throat hurt. As Steve started pumping his hips, pushing his cock into Bucky’s mouth, he released his own cock from his pants and started to stroke it, trying to match Steve’s rhythm.

Steve’s moans had gotten louder and more desperate, his left hand now holding the back of Bucky’s head as he pushed his cock into his mouth. The feeling of it was pushing Bucky to the brink, heat pooling low in his belly with each stroke, with each pump of Steve’s hips.

His name started to escape Steve’s lips, like a mantra that he was reciting.

‘Bucky… Bucky, Buck, ungh…’

Without much of a warning, Steve’s grip on Bucky’s neck tightened as he started to come, pulling back his hips so that his cock fell out of Bucky’s mouth, drops of semen hitting his face, his lips, his cheeks. Steve had gone quiet except for quick, raspy breaths, and this time it was Bucky’s time to moan as he licked his lips, taking in Steve’s taste, taking the tip of his cock back into his mouth to suck the last drops of his orgasm from him until he was shaking under him, raw and sensitive.

He glanced up to see Steve looking down at him with an indecipherable expression, eyes bright, cheeks splotched with red, his mouth plumped and so, so inviting. 

He’d made Steve come with his mouth, he thought as he resumed stroking his hard length, licking the last drop of Steve’s orgasm from his lips. 

‘Fuck’, he moaned, his voice thick and slightly raw, ‘Steve, fuck, you look, ungh…’

He could feel his own orgasm building, like a wave about to hit. Steve pulled on his arm, urging him to stand back up.

‘Buck, I want to’, he said, sounding as broken as he looked. ‘I wanna do it, let me…’

Bucky got back to his feet, almost collapsing onto the smaller boy underneath him as he rushed to kiss him. Steve tentatively covered the hand that was still pumping his cock with his own, trying to follow Bucky’s rhythm.

Steve’s technique was awkward, but just the thought of _his hand_ being on his cock was just about enough to push Bucky over the edge. Leaning with his forehead against Steve’s, he didn’t even try to control the words that escaped his lips as Steve’s hand replaced his own.

‘Yeah, like that, yes, Stevie, fuck, it’s so good, ugh… Give it to me, Steve, Steve, harder…’

Under him, Steve was struggling to catch his breath, stuck in a dazzled haze as Bucky egged him on. The moan that left Bucky’s lips as he tentatively slid his thumb under the head of his cock was the sweetest sound that Steve had ever heard, and he repeated the motion in the hope of hearing it again.

‘God, Stevie, yeah…’, Bucky breathed. ‘Please, ugh, please…’, he begged, urging Steve to pump faster, but the younger boy by was going almost excruciatingly slow, relishing every second and committing to memory every single sound that escaped Bucky’s lips.

Steve was nothing if not a quick learner, and within a few minutes he’d understood that the head of Bucky’s cock was much more sensitive than his own, and that his breath would hitch every time he squeezed the base of his length. He reached with his other hand to grab his balls, and Bucky’s hand flew to his shoulder as he let out a groan, gripping it so hard that there would probably be a bruise there come morning.

‘Shit, Buck’, he moaned as the older boy’s head fell to his other shoulder, his breathing uneven.

Bucky let out a deep, raspy moan as he bit down on Steve’s shoulder, unable to help himself as he came, drops of his orgasm hitting Steve’s stomach and dripping on his hand as he squeezed the base of Bucky’s shaft lightly.

After a minute, Bucky turned his head, mouth slack and warm as he breathed against Steve’s neck. Steve had let go of his cock, wiping his hand on his own shirt before bringing his hands back to Bucky’s hips, stroking light circles on his warm skin, his mind blissfully blank.

They stayed like that for either a minute or an hour, Steve really couldn’t tell. It felt like forever, in the best possible way. 

Without a word, Bucky stood back up, bringing his hand to stoke the side of Steve’s face with the softest look on his face. Steve felt the itch to draw him, like this, shirt half unbuttoned, pants undone, his softening cock still out, looking ruffled and delicate, like the world’s most beautiful flower right after it bloomed.

‘Steve’, he whispered as he pressed a tender kiss to his lips. 

‘Buck’, Steve answered with a smile.

They didn’t need to say anything else. 

  
  
*************************************  
  


In the morning, Steve woke up with a heavy weight on his chest as the morning sunlight flowed in his and Bucky’s bedroom – that weight being Bucky’s head, as he snored lightly, head bobbing up and down with the soft rhythm of Steve’s breaths.

Steve couldn’t help the smile that crawled up his face as he dropped his head back on his pillow, glancing at Bucky’s untouched bed on the other side of the room. Last night had… Well, it had happened, that was for sure. The butterflies in Steve’s stomach as he remembered the previous night were at the frontier of bliss and panic. There was no going back from this...

They were either going to start sleeping in the same bed every night, or they wouldn’t be able to share the same bedroom ever again. Steve could feel his breathing quickening as the thoughts started spiraling inside his mind.

He counted to five, breathing in slowly, before doing the same as he exhaled, again and again until his heart had stopped beating so hard in his chest.

He looked down at Bucky, still asleep. His hair, usually so perfectly coiffed, was a mess, spilling on Steve’s chest in short, dark swirls. He could see the top of Bucky’s nose, and his dark eyelashes that fanned over his cheeks in the most delicate way. 

Part of him wanted to stay like this forever, never moving in an eternal moment of tranquility, never having to know if Bucky would regret last night’s events when he woke up.

But he knew that it wasn’t possible, to keep this moment going for ever. Reaching up, Steve stroked Bucky’s hair softly, gently untangling the dark strands.

Bucky let out a groan as he shifted. Steve felt the light scratch of his unshaven jaw as he rubbed his head slightly on his bare chest. He let his hand drop to his side on the bed.

‘Donstop’, Bucky muttered in a raspy voice.

With a smile, Steve reached up again, petting the older boy’s hair, then lightly scratching his scalp were the hair was shorter along his nape. Bucky was practically purring under his fingers, like the world’s biggest cat.

Bucky looked up at his friend with hooded eyes and a soft smile.

‘Morning’

‘Morning to you’, he answered, smiling back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with chapter 3, which I intended to be the last one of this story but it sort of got out of hand, so I'll be writing another chapter after this one ^^'

Bucky could have stayed like that, with his head on Steve’s chest, forever. It didn’t bother him that his ribs were not the most comfortable pillow or that his arm was kind of losing all feeling from being stuck at an awkward angle. He wanted to stay in Steve’s arms until the end of time.

Last night had happened, there had no denying it. This was no drunken fantasy. They’d woken up in each other’s arms. And Steve didn’t seem to be freaking out, which gave Bucky hope, like a little bubble that was slowly building inside his stomach, lifting him up.

He wanted to stay in this moment forever, this in between where no one could burst this little bubble… But eventually, they couldn’t ignore the growing incomfort of their static positions anymore, nor the growling of Steve’s stomach.

With a laugh, Bucky lifted himself on his hands, leaning forward until his face was at the same level as Steve’s, hovering just a couple of inches above him. Both of them seemed to have stopped breathing.

Bucky scanned Steve’s face for any sign of disapproval, uneasiness, or even disgust…

His hair was sticking in all directions, some of it fanning over his forehead in light, sun-colored strands. He was looking up at Bucky with his eyebrows slightly raised, and was that a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips?

‘Hey’, Bucky breathed.

‘Hey’, Steve whispered back. His eyes dropped from Bucky’s eyes to his lips.

Not waiting for doubt to set in, Bucky closed his eyes and leaned in, brushing his trembling lips to Steve’s, a question more than a kiss. Steve didn’t hold back, pushing himself up into a full blown kiss rather than just a brush of their lips, and Bucky finally let out the breath he’d been holding.

He could feel Steve’s lips curl into a smile under his own, but he just couldn’t bear to part from him, pressing little kisses to his mouth, once, twice, a dozen times. How soft his lips were, and the feather-like stubble on his upper lip - he’d never been able to grow anything more than fuzz, much to Bucky’s delight at this instant.

With his elbows on either side of the younger boy’s head, he finally pushed back, hovering just a couple of inches above Steve. Fuck, he looked so beautiful, his messed up hair shining in the morning sun and framing his face. Bucky was so fucking gone for him, he’d been for years if he was honest with himself. As Steve reached up to caress his face, his heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest.

‘What took us so long?’ Steve murmured, his voice a little shaky.

‘Fuck, I don’t know’, Bucky answered, kissing Steve’s lips once more, then the tip of his nose, his cheekbone, his left eyelid, his brow… How many times had he dreamed about this?

Steve’s stomach let out another loud growl, which made both of the boys giggle softly.

‘Breakfast?’ Bucky suggested, sitting up on the side of the bed. In it was the hidden promise that they would continue this at a later point.

‘Yeah’, Steve answered, grabbing Bucky’s held out hand.

  
  
*************************************  
  


Bucky plugged the electric toaster into the outlet very carefully. If you didn’t do it the right way, you’d get a little bit of a shock, which was not the way he wanted to wake up. He placed two slices of bread on either side as the appliance started to heat up.

Next to him in the tiny kitchen, Steve was boiling water on the stovetop, humming a song that Bucky couldn’t quite place with a smile. 

Bucky reached above him to get two cups out of the kitchen cabinet, his hand on Steve’s hip as he did so. Steve took a step back, pressing his back against Bucky’s torso. Bucky didn’t even try to hold back the smile that instantaneously bloomed on his lips. 

They had spent so much time together, from always being around each other as kids to living together, that they’d gotten used to this morning routine, dancing around each other in the kitchen as they did so. 

But _this_ , _this_ was new, and exciting, and so, so perfect, Bucky thought as Steve pushed his ass against his hips, turning his head to mouth along his jaw.

Bucky moaned, almost dropping the two mugs in his hand as all the blood in his body seemed to rush to his groin.

Steve was pressing kisses up and down his jaw, and started rolling his hips in the most delightful way. Carefully setting the cups on the counter, Bucky grabbed both of Steve’s hips, pushing his now hard cock against Steve’s perfect ass.

‘Shit, Steve’, he exhaled, his fingers curling inside of the younger boy’s pajama pants.

Steve answered with a moan as Bucky pushed his hips against the kitchen counter, trapping his own erection against the wood.

‘Buck… Buck, shit, the toast!’

The acrid smell of burnt bread filled the kitchen. Pushing Bucky away, Steve rushed to the toaster and pulled out the two slices of bread, charred on one side and raw on the other. 

He turned back to Bucky, who gave him a shrug and the most sheepish smile that he could muster. Steve laughed, unplugging the toaster. On the stove, the water was boiling, just as forgotten as the toast.

‘So, you wanna have breakfast first or…’, Steve asked, looking down at Bucky’s tented pajama pants, his eyes dark.

‘Do you really have to ask?’ Bucky answered, shutting off the stove before turning to Steve, a predatory grin on his face.

His heart was beating so fast. He couldn’t believe it, he and Steve… He reached up to cup his face, thumb brushing against Steve’s cheekbone. Steve, being the pushy little shit that he always had been, grabbed both sides of his face, pulling him into a kiss, liking at his lips until he opened up for him.

Bucky pushed Steve up against the kitchen counter, adjusting the position of his hips so that their cocks were aligned, sliding against each other through their respective pajama pants. This made Steve moan, a low, needy sound that resonated through Bucky’s body in the most delicious way.

‘Fuck’, Steve moaned again as Bucky ground his hips, biting Steve’s shoulder before soothing the mark that he’d just made with his tongue. He noticed that Steve’s collarbones and chest were peppered with a few marks and bruises, a lovely reminder of last night. God, he wanted Steve to keep those forever, he wanted the world to know he was his…

Bucky pushed Steve’s pants down below his ass, freeing his erection. He’d had Steve’s cock in his mouth last night, he thought, his mouth watering slightly at the memory. He looked down at his friend’s hard cock. It was a little longer than his own, but less girthy. He reached between them, grabbing the shaft and tugging lightly, until his foreskin rolled back, exposing the head of his cock, which elicited another moan from Steve’s lips.

His own cock was circumcised, and although he’d caught plenty of glimpses of Steve’s uncut penis in the past, he’d never had the occasion to see it erect, yet alone to touch it like that… He moved his hand up and down his shaft, the foreskin rolling up around the head and then back as Steve’s breathing gradually became faster. The delicious sounds that escaped his lips with each of Bucky’s movements were the most erotic thing he’d ever heard.

Bucky could feel his own cock, rock hard in his pants, leaking against the fabric. Steve’s hands were gripping the sides of the counter, knuckles white as Bucky pumped his shaft faster.

‘Shit’, he groaned as Bucky slid his thumb against the underside of his cock.

With his left hand, Bucky unfastened his own pajama pants, getting his cock out. He let go of Steve’s hard on, which caused the younger boy to whine slightly. Bucky brought his hand to his mouth, liking his palm. He reached back down, wrapping his hand around both of their cocks and resumed the jerking motion with a groan. 

Steve’s breath hitched as he looked down at Bucky’s hand, at their cocks sliding against each other, each movement sending sparks up and down his spine.

‘You look so fuckin’ good right now’, Bucky murmured, his voice deep with desire.

‘Bucky’, was the only thing that Steve was able to answer as the older boy started to pick up the pace.

Reaching up, the younger boy grabbed Bucky face, pulling him in a messy and searing kiss. It was all tongues and teeth and the most amazing feeling as Bucky continued to pump his cock against Steve’s, his hand completing the motion.

Before long the only sounds that Bucky could hear were his own blood rushing in his ears and the sweet moans that escaped Steve’s lips, sounding more desperate with each passing minute.

‘Ahh, Bucky, shit’, he breathed. ‘’M gonna, fuck...’ 

Bucky kissed Steve, licking his lips, drinking every moan that came out.

Tightening his grip, Bucky ground his cock against Steve’s a little faster, and Steve’s mouth went slack against his own. With a groan, he felt the drops of Steve’s seed hit his own cock, his stomach, drip onto his hand, making the motion a little smoother as he continued to stroke Steve through his orgasm.

After a few minutes, Steve grabbed his forearm, stopping Bucky’s hand on his cock as it was becoming too sensitive.

‘Buck’, he murmured, as Bucky let go of his cock and resumed pumping his own, faster than before.

‘So fuckin’ pretty, shit’, he groaned. ‘You looked so fuckin’ good with my hand around your cock, Stevie...’

The flush that instantly bloomed over Steve’s cheeks as he lowered his eyes was making him even more gorgeous, Bucky thought. He could feel that he was close…

Without a word, Steve reached out, wiping a drop of semen from Bucky’s stomach with his thumb, before bringing it to his lips, cheeks hollowing out as he sucked his finger.

In this instant, Bucky could have sworn that his heart stopped for a second, before every nerve in his body ignited. 

‘Shit, Stevie, Stevie, ungh…’ 

His orgasm hit him in waves of electricity, starting from his groin and ending in his hands and toes, going out and then back in as he came, repeating Steve’s name like a mantra.

  
  
They stayed like that, pressed against each other, for a few minutes as their breathing returned to normal, not saying a word.

After a while, Bucky stepped back, grabbing a dish towel and running it under the tap. With a smile, he wiped his hand, then the drops of semen that peppered Steve’s stomach and chest. Steve sucked in a breath as the wet cloth came in contact with his skin.

‘Fuck, it’s cold’, he fussed.

‘You’d rather stay sticky?’ Bucky answered with a shit-eating grin, gently wiping the younger boy’s softening cock before pulling his pajama pants back up.

Steve answered him with a kiss, warm and a little wet, before grabbing the towel from Bucky’s hand and hitting him in the head with it.

‘Jeez, Steve, gross!’ He complained, but he couldn’t contain the laughter that bubbled in his chest as Steve giggled.

  
  
They didn’t stop smiling for a second as they ate their breakfast of half burnt bread, legs tangling under the table.

  
  
*************************************  
  


Over the next few weeks, they slowly learned each other’s body, making up for all the years that they would have spent doing this.

They didn’t get much sleep, and Steve slept through his alarm twice in the past week, rushing into work with dark circles under his eyes, but smiling from ear to ear. His boss had recognized the signs of young love, and let him go with only a warning, shaking his head with a smile as he watched him get to work with a spring in his step.

Steve liked to mark Bucky, and many times he came to work with dark hickeys hidden below his collar, and a few times not hidden at all, much to the amusement of the boys at the warehouse, who’d teased him about how enthusiastic his girl was.

Every night they’d use their mouths and their hands to make each other come undone. Steve would study Bucky’s body like a book, learning every spot and every motion that set his body alight. He’d always been a quick learner, finding out in record time how to twist his hand to make Bucky’s knees go weak or where to bite and suck to make him moan desperately.

But Bucky wanted more, although he didn’t dare ask for it. He wanted Steve to be his, fully, entirely, to take all of him… He wanted to fuck him.  
But Steve didn’t seem to be ready for it, or even to want it, really. Every time Bucky would get a little too close to his ass when they were having sex, he would bring him back to another part of his body without a word.

So Bucky didn’t ask. He was happy to get anything at all, to be honest. He’d take Steve’s hands and Steve’s mouth any day rather than going back to fantasizing about his friend from the other side of the room. And if one day, Steve was willing to give him more, then he’d gladly take it.

  
  
*************************************  
  


‘I’m goin’ out with the boys tonight, remember?’

‘Oh’, Steve let out with an air of disappointment.

‘You’d forgotten, hadn’t ya?’ Bucky shook his head with a small smile. ‘So forgetful…’

He wrapped both of his arms around Steve’s shoulders, his face barely an inch away from the younger boy’s.

‘They’ve been pesterin’ me for weeks, I can’t keep tellin’ them that I’m goin’ out with my girl…’

‘Is that what I am? Your girl?’ Steve smiled softly, giving Bucky’s lips a small kiss.

‘Yeah, they know I’m sweet on my Stevie’, Bucky gently rubbed his nose against Steve’s.

Steve couldn’t help but be a little happy that Bucky was talking about him to his friends. Of course, they had to lie, it wasn’t possible for two men to be together… But just knowing that Bucky’s friends recognized that he was in love, that was something, wasn’t it?

And they were in love, he thought, even though they hadn’t actually said it yet. 

Steve had known he’d loved Bucky since he was about twelve. At that time, all he knew about love was what he’d read in books, and he’d understood that the way that he felt around Bucky was like how love was described in his books. It wasn’t just friendship, it wasn’t even like a brother, it was something more, deeper, that made butterflies flutter in his stomach every time he’d see him.

But he’d kept quiet about it. Loving another boy, it wasn’t something that was normal. And now, still, he wanted to say it, but it was like he couldn’t... 

And Bucky hadn’t said anything either. This hanged over Steve’s head, this unspoken love.

  
  
*************************************  
  


Usually, Steve wouldn’t wait for Bucky to come back home after a night out, especially when he’d been out with girls. But now, things were different. Bucky wouldn’t be coming home with lipstick on his collar and his hair all mussed up.

So Steve waited up, reading Native Son by Richard Wright. He was so engrossed in the book that he didn’t notice the time until he’d finished it in one go. When he lifted his eyes from the pages, it was already past midnight.

He’d actually expected Bucky to be home by then, he thought.

It was Friday night, so none of them had to work in the morning, but he had still wanted to spend some part of the evening with Bucky… 

Heating up some water, Steve made himself a cup of tea as he listened to the sounds of the city outside. That was something he loved about Brooklyn, how life seemed to go on at all times. It didn’t matter to the city how Steve felt, if he was angry or if he was sad, people just… Kept on living out there, despite the war, despite everything. There was something comforting about that.

He sat by the window with his tea, steaming hot as he watched the people walk by in the street below, a few cats and dogs, a couple that stopped every few feet to kiss, dancing and twirling down the pavement under the streetlights.

But still no Bucky.

  
  
*************************************  
  


Bucky stumbled through the door, swearing under his breath. He’d dropped his keys while trying to open the front door and bumped his head while picking them up.

He kicked off his shoes, trying and failing to be quiet. The living room was dark, but the bedroom door was ajar. Steve had been waiting for him to come home. Maybe he was still up…

Bucky wobbled into the bedroom, shrugging off his jacket and shirt on the way. He could see Steve’s tiny body lying on his bed, his heart aching at the sight. Ever since that night, they’d been sharing Steve’s bed, which was closer to the window, burying themselves under the blankets from both their beds. But tonight, Steve had fallen asleep on Bucky’s bed, curled up on his side, seeming so small…

He took off his belt and step out of his pants, stumbling as his pant leg caught on his ankle.

‘Steviiie’, he murmured, approaching the bed.

Steve didn’t budge.

Bucky sat on the edge of the bed, removing his socks before sliding up against Steve, which finally made him stir.

‘Hey’, Bucky murmured, slipping his hand under Steve’s waist so that he could bring his small body closer to his own.

‘Y’ back’, Steve muttered, turning his head.

Steve was so warm and soft from sleep, Bucky thought as he slipped his hand under Steve’s shirt, stroking his stomach.

‘Ya smell so nice, Stevie’, he said, burrowing his nose into Steve’s neck, breathing in deep.

‘And you smell like whisky’, he answered.

‘Mmmm’, Bucky acquiesced. ’So nice, Stevie, fuck...’

He pressed his hips to Steve’s ass, tightening his arms around his waist to bring him closer.

Steve smiled, feeling Bucky’s hard cock against his ass. He shimmied himself free from Bucky’s grasp, turning to face him. 

‘Had a nice night out?’ He asked.

‘Missed you.’ Bucky closed the few inches that separated them, pressing a sloppy kiss that ended up on the corner of Steve’s mouth rather than on his lips. 

After a little while, Steve pulled back. 

‘’M sleepy, Buck’, he said. ‘Let’s go to sleep, yeah?’

‘But Steviiiie…’, Bucky whined, kissing his lips once more. He grabbed his hand, bringing it to his crotch where is cock was obviously fully hard. He moaned as Steve ground the heel of his hand onto his groin, his hips chasing the motion as he pulled his hand back.

‘There’ll be time tomorrow’, he said, yawning.

 

Steve turned his back to Bucky. His cock was half hard in his pants, but damn it, he really wanted to make a point. Bucky couldn’t just do only what he wanted all the time. God damn him, coming home drunk at God knows what time in the morning, and expecting sex when Steve had been worried about something happening to him…

Bucky whined some more, snaking his hand back under Steve’s waist, pulling him closer.

‘Com’on, Stevie, I know you want it.’

His hand made its way into Steve’s pants, grabbing his half-hard cock, and started stroking it.

‘Bucky’, Steve sighed, half reproach and half surrender.

‘So good for me, aren’t ya?’ Bucky mumbled into Steve’s neck. ‘So good, Stevie…’

He shifted his hips again so that he was flush against Steve’s backside, rutting without much of a rhythm.

‘Unngh…’, he moaned low, almost a growl in Steve’s ear, his hand going slack on Steve’s now fully erect cock.

‘So good, so perfect, fuck…’

Bucky bit hard onto Steve’s neck, sending a jolt of arousal down the younger boy’s body. There was something about seeing Bucky like that, when he was drunk or so turned on that he didn’t seem to have a filter anymore. It was exciting, knowing that it was Steve that had brought him to the brink of losing control…

So he rolled his hips, meeting Bucky’s erratic thrusts, revelling in the sounds that escaped Bucky’s lips with each movement.

‘Fuck, Steve, you’re so perfect, your fuckin’ ass, God…’ He moaned, breathless.

Without a warning, he flipped Steve onto his stomach, laying on top of him as he resumed rutting against his ass.

Steve moaned, his cock now trapped between his stomach and the mattress. With each pump of Bucky’s hips he’d get a little friction, not enough to really bring him over the edge but still make him feel so, so good...

‘Nnghh, yeah, fuck, you love it’, Bucky breathed, his hand on Steve’s shoulder, pushing him into the mattress.

‘Fuck, yeah, I wanna fuck you, baby, Steve, I want you’, he continued.

Without a word, Bucky grabbed at Steve’s pajama pants, pulling mercilessly at them until they were under his hips and Steve felt the cold air of his bare backside.

Shit, he thought, was Bucky going to… Like that? Panic started to rise in his stomach, but Bucky was still pushing him hard into the mattress, not leaving him much room to move or to protest…

‘Such a perfect ass, fuck, waiting for me like that, Stevie…’ Bucky drawled, sounding dazed.

Before he had much time to think, Steve felt Bucky’s hard cock against his ass, running up and down his crack while Bucky moaned, unaware that Steve had almost stopped breathing. Was it a shiver of fear or anticipation that ran along his spine? Steve couldn’t move, didn’t know what to do…

He heard Bucky spit before stroking himself.

‘Fuck, Steve’, he moaned once more as he pushed his cock between Steve’s thighs. The feeling sent a jolt of electricity through Steve’s body, and he couldn’t hold a moan as Bucky started fucking between his thighs, his cock dragging against Steve’s balls with each movement.

‘So perfect, opening for me, shit, Steve, fuck, fuck…’

Swears kept falling out of Bucky’s mouth, along with Steve’s name like a mantra as Steve pushed his legs together to provide more friction. It wasn’t long before Bucky stilled, crying out as his orgasm hit him.

He fell back onto Steve’s back, breathing heavily as he placed a few sloppy kisses to Steve’s nape and hairline, then behind his ear, and at the base of his jaw.

‘How are you so perfect?’, he murmured, before his breath started to deepen as he fell asleep.

‘Hey!’ Steve tried to shake him off from under him. ‘You fucker, don’t fall asleep on me like that!’

Bucky rolled to the side, freeing Steve, who turned to shake him. His cock was still hard and begging for attention as Bucky started to snore lightly.

‘Bucky’, he whispered, a needy edge to his voice. ‘You’re not gonna leave me like that, wake up, you fucker!’

But Bucky didn’t budge, barely letting out a groan as Steve shook his arm one more time.

‘Oh, you’re gonna pay for this’, he whispered, exasperated.

  
  
*************************************  
  


In the morning, Bucky woke up with with a very, very dry mouth, and a pounding in his head that made him groan.

‘Wake up, you shithead!’ Steve practically shouted next to him.

Bucky grumbled louder at the sound - it felt like it was piercing his head from ear to ear.

‘So louuud’, he whined.

‘Oh, I’m sorry, am I TOO LOUD?’ Steve exclaimed, hitting him in the face with a pillow.

Bucky pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to relieve some of the pressure inside his skull. Water, he needed water… And for Steve to pipe down...

He opened his eyes, and Steve was looming over him with a glass of water, like the fucking savior that he was. Without a word, he reached for it, gulping it all in a couple of seconds. Could water flow directly into his brain? Because that was exactly how he felt as he drank the divine liquid, so good, so perfect, fuck, he would NEVER drink alcohol again.

That’s exactly what he said to Steve, who greeted the announcement with a snort.

‘Yeah, that’s what you said last time, you fuckin’ idiot.’

Sitting up, Bucky noticed that his underwear was bunched up below his hips, his cock out. Had they had sex last night after he’d come home? He could barely remember a thing, just a few flashes that came back to him like a dream… Including the image of him pounding Steve into the mattress from behind…

‘Did we? Last night?’, he asked, not really sure how to finish the question.

‘We?’ Steve asked with mock surprise. ‘Oh, WE certainly didn’t. You, on the other hand, are one selfish son of a bitch. I thought your mom had raised you better than that.’

And so Steve related the events of the previous night to Bucky, who pieced the story together with his hazy memories… Shit, he thought. He’d actually been on the verge of fucking Steve… He _really_ was never drinking again, there was just no way that he would risk actually doing it when Steve didn’t… Didn’t want to do that…

‘So…’, he hesitated, no sure what to say.

‘So, you better make it up to me’, Steve finished for him. And though he was smiling, Bucky could see that he was not kidding, that some part of him was actually mad about last night.

‘Oh, I will’, Bucky answered.

‘Good’, Steve said, leaning over to press a soft kiss to Bucky’s dry lips. ‘Because I actually know how you can do that.’

‘Oh, really?’ Bucky answered with a grin, although he didn’t feel as confident as he made it seem.

‘Yeah. I want you to fuck me.’


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky choked on his spit.

‘You… You what?’

‘I want you to fuck me.’

Bucky felt slightly dizzy. Was he still drunk? Was he dreaming?

‘Shit, Steve, you can’t just say something like that…’

‘I can’t?’ Steve asked, his eyebrows raised. ‘Why not?’ He said with mock innocence.

‘It’s… It’s just not… People don’t say that…’

‘Oh, so none of ya girls has ever said that to ya?’

Steve took a step forward, crowding Bucky’s space, his hands on his chest. Bucky could barely breathe, his heart racing under Steve’s delicate fingers.

Standing on the tip of his toes, Steve murmured in his ear: ‘I want you inside me, Buck. Will you fuck me?’

_The little shit_ , Bucky thought as a shiver shook him from head to toe. 

‘Shit, Stevie… Yes, fuck, yeah’, he answered, starting to get hard in his underwear.

Steve didn’t step back, his breath still caressing Bucky’s ear and neck with each exhale.

‘Say it.’

‘I… I wanna fuck you, Stevie, I do…’

Steve’s mouth was nipping at his earlobe as his hand snaked down his chest, cupping him through his underwear. Bucky moaned at the contact, his cock twitching under Steve’s fingers.

‘You’re goin’ to give it good to me?’

‘Fuck, yeah, so good, Stevie, shit’, Bucky said, reaching to grab Steve’s ass with both hands.

‘Good’, Steve murmured, kissing Bucky’s neck before stepping back, causing Bucky to whimper.

‘Now get dressed. Your ma is expecting us for Shabbat.’

‘What?’ Bucky whined. ‘You’re going to leave me like this?’

‘Sure am’, Steve answered, grabbing his jacket from the wardrobe. ‘Also, you’re not allowed to touch yourself. So wash up, get dressed, we’re leaving in thirty minutes or your ma’s goin’ to be give us another lecture.’

Bucky whined ‘But Steeeve…’

But Steve was already out of the room, grabbing his Sunday shoes and some shoeshine to get ready to go to the Barnes’.

Bucky sat back on the bed, dropping his head in his hands. Steve was going to be the death of him…

  
  
*************************************  
  


Spending Shabbat with his family was always something that Bucky enjoyed, and after Steve’s mom’s death, he’d been invited to join them every Saturday, even though he was Catholic. But that day, time seemed to drag on forever… 

He kept stealing glances at Steve, who’d smile or even wink at him when no one was looking, the little shit. He just couldn’t get his words out of his mind. Had he actually meant it, or was it just a ploy to get back at him for the previous night?

At the table, he felt Steve’s leg brush against his own. Once, it could have been an accident. Twice, maybe something was up. Three times, Steve was definitely doing it on purpose. 

When it came time for dessert, the little shit reached under the table, grabbing Bucky’s crotch until he felt him start to swell up under his hand, making him blush a deep shade of red before he just stopped, going back to his conversation with his sister has if nothing had happened… He even had the audacity of licking the cream from his fingers, looking Bucky directly in the eye as he did so...

After what seemed like forever to Bucky, they finally said goodbye, after much fussing from Bucky’s ma about how “he looked too thin” and “he should really come eat with them more often”.

On the way home, Steve didn’t speak. So Bucky didn’t say anything either, worried that he was still mad at him, or would say something wrong. 

When they reached their floor, Steve fished his keys out of his pocket, unlocking the apartment.

Bucky blocked the door from opening with his left hand. 

'Steve', he said, his voice low and his tone serious.

'Bucky', Steve answered with mock seriousness.

'Would you… Can you quit that?' Bucky sighed, grabbing Steve by the shoulder so that they were facing each other.

Steve didn’t answer, smiling at Bucky with the same smile that had the power to drive his up the fucking walls. Steve, the little shit that he was, knew exactly what he was doing.

'Inside, now', Bucky ordered, pushing him into the apartment.

Once he had closed the door behind him, he turned back to Steve, who was facing him with his arms crossed and a look of defiance on his face.

‘Are you done punishin’ me?’ Bucky asked.

Steve’s features softened a little, but he didn’t answer.

‘What do you want me to do? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg? ‘Cause I will, if that’s what you want, Stevie…’

Steve raised his eyebrows, in a look that could mean anything from “Well you can fuckin’ start by doing that” to “You’d actually go that far?”. Bucky was tired of the silence, so he dropped down until his knees hit the ground, looking up at Steve.

‘I’m really fuckin’ sorry, Stevie, baby’, he said, grabbing his hand. ‘Please, please forgive me?’

The corners of Steve’s lips turned up, but he still didn’t utter a word. 

_He wants to see how far I’ll go_ , Bucky thought. Well, if that was what he wanted, Bucky would go along with it.

Shuffling forward, he pressed his cheek against Steve’s cold fingers.

‘Please’, he breathed.

Still no sound.

He moved closer, looking up at Steve, until his face was just inches away from Steve’s groin.

‘Please’, he repeated. ‘Please please please…’

He pressed his face into Steve’s crotch, the fabric a little rough against his cheek as he nuzzled it.

‘Please…’

Steve’s breath hitched, and Bucky felt his cock start to chub up in his pants.

‘Please…’ He repeated.

He rubbed his face into Steve’s stiffening cock, mouthing at the line through his pants. Steve’s hands shot up, his fingers felt good against his scalp as he ran them through his gelled up hair.

‘Buck’, he breathed.

Not waiting for any other validation, Bucky unbuttoned Steve’s pants, quickly sliding them below his hips, before bringing his mouth back to his cock, kissing the hard shape of it through his underwear.

A moan escaped Steve’s lips as he licked the length of his cock through the fabric, before pulling his underwear down, freeing Steve’s member. He didn’t waste any time and took it into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head like he knew Steve liked.

‘Shit, Buck…’ Steve let out.

Bucky started bobbing his head up and down, sucking in his cheeks with each movement as Steve’s fingers tugged on his hair in the most delightful way. He ignored his own cock, fully hard and trapped in his pants, as he worked Steve’s, encouraged by the moans that escaped the boy’s lips.

‘Ahh, Bucky, yes’, Steve groaned, his voice thick with want.

Within a few minutes, he was grabbing a fistful of Bucky’s hair, pulling hard on the strands at the back of his neck as he came down his throat with a heady moan.

Bucky swallowed around his cock with a moan as Steve’s legs started shaking slightly from his orgasm, looking up to see the younger boy’s face, his eyes rolled back in ecstasy, his mouth slightly open, his lips red and inviting…

Bucky got back to his feet, bringing his face barely an inch away from Steve’s as his hand shot up to caress his cheek. Slowly, delicately, he pressed a kiss to his lips, breathing in Steve’s smell, his thumb brushing against his cheekbone.

‘Are we good?’ He asked, their foreheads pressed together, looking into Steve’s eyes. His pupils were blown and dark, with the most beautiful ring of blue around them, he noticed.

‘Yeah’, Steve breathed, reaching up to kiss him once again, his tongue darting to lick at his bottom lip. ‘Yeah, we are, Buck’, he said into the kiss.

Bucky deepened the kiss, his tongue meeting Steve’s. He was very aware of the fact that his cock was hard, still untouched in his pants as his hands roamed down Steve’s back, from his graceful shoulders to the small of his back, before settling on his ass. 

‘Bedroom’, he said softly. He felt Steve nod against his shoulder.

Bucky followed the younger boy, delighting in the sight of his naked ass, his pants and underwear still bunched up right under his hips. 

Once they were inside the bedroom, Steve turned back to him, pressing his body against Bucky’s from thighs to chest. 

‘What do you want?’ He asked, his hand snaking up between them to grab Bucky’s crotch. ‘My hand? My mouth?’ He smiled.

Bucky had to force his brain into functioning again as Steve pressed the heel of his hand against his hard length. He dropped his head, mouthing at Steve’s jaw lazily, and started unbuttoning his shirt, unveiling the beautiful shape of his collarbones, the delicate color of his shoulders.

‘Neither’, he answered, biting slightly at Steve’s pulsepoint before soothing the skin with his tongue. He loved the way that it made Steve’s breath quicken, so he did it again, and again just an inch below, and again, peppering kisses along Steve’s collarbone.

He slid Steve’s shirt all the way off, letting it drop to the ground.

‘Take your pants off’, Bucky instructed him, taking a step back.

Steve complied, toeing off his shoes and stepping out of his pants, until he was standing naked in front of Bucky. 

He took a minute to appreciate the sight in front of him, Steve’s slight torso rising up and down with each of his breath, the beautiful flush that spread across his chest, the small bruises on his neck and shoulders, reminders of previous moments shared. His cock was soft, not yet ready for another round, but Bucky knew that it would be before long.

With a sheepish look, Steve stepped forward, grabbing Bucky’s collar, and pulling him into a searing kiss. His tongue explored Bucky’s mouth, and each inch of Bucky’s skin that was touching his sent waves of electricity down to his groin.

Reluctantly, Bucky pulled back from the kiss.

‘Lay down on the bed’, he said, unbuttoning his own shirt as Steve followed his instructions. He turned to the dresser, rummaging through the dresser until he found what he was looking for: a small jar of vaseline.

Steve was looking at him from the bed, lying down on his elbows.

‘Spread your legs’, Bucky said as he bent down to take off his shoes.

The flush on Steve’s chest deepened as he complied without saying a word, opening his legs until Bucky could see the small, pink pucker between them, his cock twitching slightly with renewed interest. Bucky’s heart was beating wildly in his chest as he climbed onto the bed between Steve’s legs, bending down to kiss him.

‘Tell me if you want me to stop’, he said, unscrewing the cap of the jar.

Steve nodded quietly as Bucky gathered some of the ointment with his index and middle fingers, before bringing them to Steve’s puckered hole. He circled his index slowly, slicking up the entrance as Steve sucked in a breath. He grabbed Bucky’s shoulders, pulling him back down onto a kiss as the older boy tentatively pushed the tip of his digit inside of him.

‘Ahh…’ Steve let out a moan.

‘Is it okay?’ Bucky asked, mesmerized by the tight, warm sensation of Steve around his finger.

‘Yeah, yes’, Steve acquiesced.

Slowly, Bucky pushed his finger deeper into the warmth, and felt Steve release a breath he’d been holding as he pulled back, before pushing in again. He gradually worked him open, moving his finger around, before he felt confident to add another. 

Steve was so tight and warm around him… His cock had started to get hard again, lying on thigh as Bucky pushed his two fingers up to the second knuckle inside of him.

‘Aaah’, Steve moaned louder, and Bucky felt him clench around his digits.

‘Are you okay?’ He asked, stopping his movements.

‘Nggh, yes, don’t stop, shit’, Steve let out, his hips moving of their own accord.

Spellbound, Bucky pushed his fingers back onto the same spot, encouraged by the scream that came out of Steve as he hit it again, and again. His cock was fully hard now, leaking onto his stomach, without Bucky having even touched it.

‘Shiiit, there, Bucky, yeah!’

Bucky could feel the blood pumping into his own throbbing cock, still trapped into his pants. He had never felt that urgent a need to be inside someone, he wanted to, needed to…

He took his fingers out of Steve, which elicited a moan of disappointment from the younger boy as he fumbled to unbutton his pants feverishly. He got his cock out of his underwear, he was so hard, so ready, with Steve below him…

Grabbing the vaseline, he slicked up his cock as Steve watched him with hungry eyes, before bending back down over him, until his face was level with the younger boy’s. Grabbing his hard length, he dragged the head of his cock below Steve’s balls and around his slicked hole with a moan.

‘Can I?’ He asked, breathless, his whole body vibrating with need.

‘Yes, fuck, Bucky, yes’, Steve answered, pulling his hips closer, moaning as the tip of his cock entered him. Bucky pushed, excruciatingly slow, into the tight heat, and remembered to breathe only when he was finally all the way inside Steve.

He was inside Steve. _Inside_ , he thought. _Fuck._

He felt so good around him, tight, so tight…

‘You okay?’ He asked Steve.

‘Yeah’, he breathed. ‘It’s… Weird. Not bad, but… weird.’

Bucky pulled back a couple of inches before pushing back in.

‘Nghhh, Steeeve’, he moaned. ‘I’m not sure I can hold back much longer.’

‘Don’t’, Steve said. ‘Don’t hold back, I’m okay, fuck me, Bucky, I want it, fuck’, he moaned, grabbing as Bucky’s hips, pulling him deep inside of him.

‘Steeeve’, Bucky cried as he started pumping his hips, looking for same angle that had made Steve scream when he was opening him with his fingers. After a minute or two, he managed to hit the spot, and Steve moaned, his back arching.

‘Oh God, Bucky, yeah, just there, do it again!’ He egged him on as Bucky snapped his hips again, trying to pound into the same spot with every thrust.

‘Yeah, you like that Stevie?’ He moaned, barely aware of what he was saying. ‘You like it, yeah, fuck, Stevie, you love havin’ me fuck you, don’t ya?’

He was so close, he could feel his orgasm building with each thrust in the deep, tight heat.

‘Ngh, Buck, touch me, please’, Steve begged.

Bucky complied, grabbing Steve’s leaking cock in his hand, trying to stroke it with the same rhythm as his hips. Steve’s hands were grasping the bunched up sheets under him, his head pushed back into the pillow as his body tensed up, his mouth open in ecstasy, Bucky’s name on his lips. Without any further warning, his orgasm hit, spurting onto Bucky’s hand and his stomach.

Bucky felt Steve tightening around him, and the sight that Steve offered combined with the feeling was enough to push him over the edge, and he cried out Steve’s name as he came deep inside of him.

It took him a couple of minutes to come down from the high, his heart still pumping furiously in his ears as his breathing evened out slowly.

Bucky pulled out, collapsing next to Steve. He turned to face him, stroking his face. 

‘God, you’re beautiful’, he murmured.

Steve closed his eyes. ‘When you say that, I could almost believe you…’

Scooching closer, Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead, his closed eyelids, his nose, and finally his lips, once, twice, three times.

‘It’s true. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.’

He could feel Steve exhale slowly. He opened his eyes, looking deep into Bucky’s.

‘I love you, Buck’, he breathed. ‘I’m in love with you.’

A tear rolled from his eye, down onto the pillow below him. 

‘Stevie’, he murmured. ‘I love you too, God, I always have…’

The way that Steve’s eyes lit up as he smiled at him, God, Bucky could have sworn that in this instant, his heart had stopped. If the Christians were right and there was a heaven, this must be it, he thought.

They stayed like that for a while, tangled in each other, smiling and basking in the glow of their own happiness. In that instant, they were young, there were in love, there was nothing that could stop them. Inside of these walls, they could be together, however they wanted, until the end of the line.

‘If I could, I’d marry you’, Bucky said, kissing Steve’s lips sweetly.

‘God, Buck, you’d make an honest man out of me?’ Steve smiled.

‘I mean it, I would!’

‘Well there’s hope for me yet!’

They laughed, breathing in rhythm with each other. 

That night, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, after talking for hours in hushed tones, sharing admissions of love and kisses again and again until it felt like the only truth in the world was this, them, together.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue - Steve and Bucky wake up together.

The sunlight streamed through the white curtains of their Brooklyn apartment. Outside, the city was already busy despite the early hour, but they didn’t pay any attention to the sounds of cars passing by or people yelling in the street below.

Bucky opened his eyes first, his head laying on Steve’s bare chest.

He felt good, and warm. He never wanted to move. The world could stop, for all he cared. He was home.

Under him, Steve chest moved up and down with deep breaths. 

‘Hey’, he heard after a few minutes.

He looked up at Steve’s face, smiling down at him.

‘Didn’t think you were awake’, Bucky said.

‘You know me, always up at the crack of dawn’, Steve smiled.

‘Well then I appreciate that you’re staying in bed for my sake.’

Steve’s eyes crinkled, and he reached to brush Bucky’s hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear.

‘Anything for you, love.’

‘That’s funny, you didn’t say that yesterday when I asked to borrow your motorcycle.’

Steve laughed. ‘Well that’s because I’ve seen you drive it, and I’d rather have it - and you - stay in one piece’, he chuckled.

Bucky pushed himself up onto his hands, until he was looming over Steve’s face, his left arm whirring next to his ear.

‘I’ll have you know that I’m an excellent driver.’

‘Mmmhmmm’, Steve acknowledged in fake agreement.

‘I am! It’s the other people who don’t know how to drive!’

Steve laughed, pushing himself up to press his lips to Bucky’s in a soft kiss. The long strands of Bucky’s hair tickled the sides of his face.

‘Alright, then I’ll let you drive the motorcycle when no one else is driving.’

Bucky huffed, dropping to Steve’s side. Outside, a car passed, blaring a popular rap song that would surely get stuck in Bucky’s head for a couple of days again.

 

‘D’you remember that night, Stevie?’ Bucky asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

‘You’re gonna have to give me a little bit more information than that, love.’

‘That night, when we… For the first time... When we said I love you. Before the war.’

Steve turned to face him.

‘Of course I remember that night, Buck’, Steve said, his voice serious.

‘You never gave me an answer, though.’

Steve’s brows furrowed.

Bucky looked up at Steve’s eyes, still so blue. Most of him was so different from that time, but his eyes hadn’t changed a bit. When he looked at them, he still felt the same rush as he did back when he was 17 and he’d figured out that the way that he felt about his best friend was not just friendship. He didn’t mind the changes, the body, the muscles, he even loved the beard. But it was always so good to dive back into Steve’s eyes, like nothing bad had ever happened to them.

‘I said I would marry you. You never said yes.’

‘Well, it wasn’t really an option back then.’

‘It is now, though’, Bucky murmured.

‘James Buchanan Barnes, are you proposing to me right now?’ Steve asked, smiling from ear to ear.

Bucky sat up on the bed.

‘I… Yeah, I guess I am.’

Steve sat up in his tow, grabbing his hand.

‘Ok, ask the question properly then’, he said.

Bucky smiled. ‘Steven Grant Rogers, will you marry me?’

Steve’s smile broadened as he answered. ‘Yes, Buck, of course!’

Rushing forward at the same time, their lips met with more force than each of them had intended. Bucky felt Steve laugh against his lips, and a warm feeling spread all over him. They could get married. They _would_ get married. They would be together forever.

Ever since **that night** , he’d never dreamed about anything else.


End file.
